Have you ever been to an interview which turned out to be a complete waste of time - whether it was because you were lied to by the agency about the job spec, or (worse still) because the job in question did not even exist?

This happened to me quite recently. I faithfully went to an interview for a company in Central London. They were starting to migrate development from some old COBOL-based 4GL to Java for one of their projects - tentatively dipping their management toe in the water. So they were looking for someone to set up a Java development environment, establish coding standards, basically start the ball rolling with the new project. Cool, I thought. But, as I was to find out, what a chaotic company.

The office was in turmoil when I arrived, as they were re-organising the layout to fit more cattle in. Drills were grinding and hammers were hammering - I'm sure you've been there before. Amidst this noise and chaos, they sat me down to do a three-hour "intelligence" test (yes, three hours!!) Perhaps the test was whether I would be intelligent enough to refuse to do the test. Well I guess I failed that one (but luckily passed the test itself). After the test, I was supposed to have a proper interview. However, the receptionist accidentally sent me home following a telephone/manager/wrong interviewee mix-up, despite my protests. Apparently, once they realised what had happened, and having seen the test results, they paged me over the PA system at Euston Railway Station. Too bad I had gone to Waterloo Station instead.

I reluctantly agreed to return the next day, deciding rather foolishly to give them the benefit of the doubt. Well, the agency had grovelled so nicely over the phone. (They also agreed to pay my train fare for both days). The interview went very well, and I received a call from the agency the same afternoon, saying that they had whittled down the other applicants, and decided that they wanted to make me an offer - but they couldn't.

"I don't quite understand," I said. "You're saying I've got the job, but they can't make me an offer?" The sharper-minded of you will already have spotted the slight inconsistency.

"That's right," the agency man replied, sounding awkward. "You see, one of their senior directors has decided to out-source the project to a cheap Indian software house, who will produce the product for next to nothing."

Apparently the manager in charge of the project was incredibly frustrated about this, as he regarded the director's plan as a somewhat hare-brained scheme that could not work due to the remoteness of the cheap company, the language barrier, the time difference (and probably the lack of any tight functional specifications). He was convinced the director would soon come to his senses, and when that happened they would be able to make me an offer (although by then I would almost certainly have found something else).

So, what a waste of two days' holiday - yet the company must surely have known that the position was less than a certainty. I get the impression that a lot of companies do this - they'll let the agencies do the running around, finding and filtering interviewees etc. as it doesn't cost the company a penny until they actually employ someone. I'm no fan of agencies either - I have found many of them to be quite unscrupulous in the past (but that's another set of stories). It must be deeply frustrating for them though. Plus, of course, it's a bitch for the individual who takes a day off work (or phones in sick, depending on their morality) and uses precious resources to tender for a job which was never going to exist for anyone. Grrr.

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Dean Webb deanwebb@zzzptm.com
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