Wisdom often comes from the most unexpected source...

Oh cripes, not again!

When walking along the sidewalk...
We all have that problem where someone walking towards us adjusts their trajectory to avoid bumping into you - but they go the same way as you! So you change direction, only to find that they have just done the same! This curious synchronized zig-zag continues until the inevitable collision. Well, I have found that the best way to avoid this is simply to stick to your guns. Gaze intently at something to your left (or right), and avoid even looking at your opponent. By breaking eye contact, you are effectively immune from the zigzag cycle of doom. I have recently begun practising this, and have since had very few collisions in the last few days.

Worried about lifting the toilet seat at work?
Me too. You never know who used it last. And of course you never know what part of their anatomy has been touching any part of the seat. Of course you can hazard some educated guesses. Picture your least attractive co-worker sitting in that same toilet cubicle where you are now standing. Now picture exactly where his (or her) floppy bits are located. Crikey! Well, it should be a fairly straightforward process to extrapolate from this which parts of the toilet seat are safe to touch. Good luck!

Now everyone wants to be my friend!

Your team members probably don't like you.
This can be for a variety of reasons, but it's just one of those things that as soon as you become a manager, you are now one of "them" instead of one of the lads. I never really fitted in before, but it's even more noticeable now that I have authority on my side. I've tried explaining to my team that I am simply superior to them, but it hasn't helped. Recently, I have resorted to bringing in great picnic hampers chock-full of tasty goodies, every morning. Not surprisingly, this has worked a treat.

Management reviews are a stressful experience at best.
As a project manager, I have to give regular weekly progress updates to my own manager, Colonel "Tiger" Pickering. He's a mean beast at the best of times, so I do find it quite unnerving when I have to give him bad news (which is usually every week!) Well, I have found that all I have to do is have a really good dump just before the meeting. This totally helps to focus my mind. After landing one of those beasties, you feel that you can climb any mountain that comes your way. Try it, it really works!

Talkback: Have Your Say!

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re: Toilet seat tip
A closet fan 

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